me and more of what im doing

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A Boy’s Fate

Okay…Share or not to share.well this blog is supposed to be about me.sooo

The men looked at the boy with inquisitive eyes. He seems like a 15 year old boy, who should be at home studying or hanging out with his family. Yet he is the back alley scrounging around the garbage looking for used materials. One of the men, Jeff thinks he knows the boy but quickly denies his suspicion because of the characteristics of the two boys are so different. They continued to walk.
After hours of foraging the garbage, the boy carried his findings home. He arrived at gate. A large and glorious gate. The house was like a palace. Not a place someone of his status. He entered the through a small door next to the gate and crept silently through the yards and went inside the house through the backdoor.
When he is inside the house, he went inside a room, stashes his findings in a big box. Ron took a shower and took the liberty of wearing the clothes in the wardrobe. The front door bell rings. He ran downstairs and opened the door. He said “Mom! You are home early today.” in shock. His mother usually comes home late at night, long after he does his secret activity. Today his mother decided to come home early, thus spoiling his plan.
Ron sat down at the dining table and enjoys the dinner with his mother. His mother seems happy. It’s been a while since they sat down together at dinner. Since their divorce, their family has been falling apart. Maybe a dinner would turn things around. The boy finished his dinner quickly and goes to bed.
His mother cleans up after that. She dropped a plate. Its shattering resonates in the house. She flashes back to the day when their family was still in one piece. When something like this happens, her husband and son would rush to the kitchen and helped cleaning up the mess. But those days are long gone. No one would rush to clean that broken plate now. To her it just serves as a statistical reminder of a family in wreckage. She went to bed hoping to be better tomorrow. Free from her mental pain.
Tomorrow came around. Ron wakes up and gets ready for school. His dinner with his mom last night is awkward. They did not spoke a word at the table. It’s almost like they never knew each other. He met up with his friends. Ron is a famous person in his school, being a geek despite having a place in the Student Councils as well as the football team.
But none of that will conceal his growing pain. It’s starting to show. In class, recess and football practice. People around him no longer view him as a tenacious and persistent person he used to be. His eyes show a vacant stare that would invoke the gloomy side of anyone that meets him. Even with his deteriorating state, one friend stood by him. As his conditions grew worse, his popularity wanes, but this one friend would prove invaluable. Maria is always there by him. She felt in debt as Ron saves her from an accident that nearly took her life. Ron just would not accept Maria’s help. He thinks that others should not meddle with his life.
After school, he goes to work at the café. The financial status of their family has been in a dire condition since the divorce. His mom works at a firm which has delayed her salary for months and is deemed for bankruptcy in the near future. Ron tries to help by working at this café, but it made no difference, his payment is way too small.

When his shift is over, he went to the back alleys to do what he always does at night. Becoming a waste picker. He had to do it because it’s the only way he could think of besides working at the café. After picking waste for a few hours, he decided to call it a day.
He went through a shortcut to his house. He passed through a white mansion. A woman is seen through the upper floor window. He did not recognize the woman as the window is translucent.Ron realizes he must do something. The front door is wide as if it was awaiting him.
Creping silently until he reaches the first floor. He pushes open the door. And what he saw nearly ripped his heart. His just dropped. His mother is at gunpoint.
“I’m sorry Ron. I had too. To support us “while she is weeping.
His mother loaned the loan sharks for money and they want it back. A series of monologue played through his mind.
He was dumbstruck that his mother would resort to loan from loan sharks. And keeping it a secret from him all this time. If his mother told him, he could help. Or at least that’s what he thinks.
“Don’t hurt my mother, take me. “He said in desperation.
It was too late. The bullet hit through her chest and plunged to the ground below. He can see blood sprouting from her chest creating a weirdly red pool of blood. She was gone.
“You better go. Go and never tell anyone or everyone around you will go one by one.”
So Ron runs and never looks back. After the incident, the loan sharks disappeared and nevercaught.The court closed the case after failing to find them. But Ron was devastated. He lived with his uncle during his high school years but what happened to his mom took a huge toll on him. He slowly turned into a madman. His grandparents put him into a mental hospital.There, he spent the remaining days of his lives. All that he hopes to be when he was a child was never going to come true. His ambition, dreams and fears are treated like nothing but tantrums there.


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Inspiration And Procrastination

Lately,I’ve been procrastinating as much as I’ve been inspired.And by inspired,I mean daydreaming.For example,last night it was raining.I got the idea for a story,but that idea is likely to go down the drain again.

This morning,I tried to write down the story,but I ended facebooking and opening youtube.The thing is,I can’t seem to put my mind onto things.I have tons of work that needs to be finished but everytime I put my mind to it,something happens.My mom calls,my friend is at the door,my favourite show is on and a cat is hit by a car.

So,I’m trying to be more focused in things I set to do.No more procrastinating and lazying around.It almost like I have a short attention span,which I think I do have but does not admit it.

Anyway,I hope I can overcome this problem soon.Hope you can share if you similar problems to mine. 🙂

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It’s been officially three days since I had any viewers on my blog.I don’t what’s happening,but my  usually gets 5-10 views daily.BUT no views?I mean this blog has a small audience but I think it just dropped.Anyway,if any of you guys who are accidently reading this,feel free to drop your comment if you ever had any of these situation before. 🙂

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Demo track

Hello guys,lately I’ve been working on a song with a few people.We managed to finish an instrumental or a demo track without vocals.I hope You guys can check it out and leave a comment.If any of u are interested to collaborate on this track,just let me know. Here’s the link to it: Dying Ember(Instrumental Demo)

or u guys can watch it on youtube:

Dying Ember youtube

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Short Stories for download

Hey guys!I’ve recently published two works on Smashwords.One is One Lucky Day and the other one is a compilation of 3 short stories,for each stories there will be novels in the near future.The compilation features 2 stories featured on this page including 1 never before seen story.Both are completely free and I hope you can give me some feedback.Here’s the link to my works;

1.One Lucky Day(all formats)

2.Compilation Of Short Stories(all formats)

P/S:I publish my works under the pen name J.Smile

I hope you can check them out.Thank you.

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Dark Discovery|another lousy story by me(its cliche by the way)

I walked through my class door.Eyeballs stared at me like a tiger would at its prey.Felt like running but there is nowhere to run.I’m all alone in these new environtment.It’s my first day of school,and I’m not very great with strangers that I just met.Eventhough they are my classmates,to me they are strangers.

It was particularly chilly that day,with a slight drizzle.That did not seem to dampen spirits of the highly optimistic,brave-new-world students of my class.But to me,the weather perfectly symbolized my feeling .I’m a barren wasteland inside.Maybe full of ice.

The moment he walked in,I knew he was trouble.The math teacher.I was never in good terms with any math teachers at any school.I was a good student but something always happen.In January,on a Monday,I watched it begin again.My longtime rivalry with math teachers

The recess bell rang.A person said hello to me.That’s not so bad.He introduced me to groups of students sitting at a table at the canteen.They seemed like my kind of people.A band of misfits group together to survive highschool.Sounds like a Nickelodean show theme.But now,I’ll accept just about anything.I was silent throughout the conversation they had,but collected new information.Turns out that this shool is not what it all appears to be.It’s been hiding some very dark and heavy secret.

After school,for some unknown and mysterious reasons,I decided to wander around the school compound.Then I saw what appeared to be a student screaming behind the school’s worksop.Debating the wisdom of running to the police station which are two blocks away,I let it slide for now.But I’m sure it has something to do with this school’s allegedly dark secrets that was revealed to me by my friends.

Next day,I went to school as usual.I met up with Harits,my new friend that I met yesterday.He told me new details about what the school is hiding.Once again,a question pops up in my head,have I made a good decision in enrolling in this school?The secret that this school is hiding can threaten the students.Because I had known this secret,I need to do something about it.Tonight.

AT 8.00p.m,I was the first one to arrive at the school  gate.Few minutes later,others arrived.Tonight is Mathematics class so I will be sitting through a 2 hour long class that I hope I can survive through.But that’s not what I’m worried about.I will unravel this secret once and for all.

Class started.After ten minutes,Mr.Zack received a call.He went outside to answer it.After he went back inside,he told that class would end at 9.00 p.m..Students in the class looked at each other.We knew there is something fishy going on and Harits and I are going to do something about it.

After class,Harits and I waited behind the gate until all students are back home.Suddenly,I felt a third presence.It grabbed my shoulder and covered both of our mouths.I was about to fall on to the ground when I realized it was Dini.The girl from the class next door.I remembered she had been eavesdropping on our conversation.Maybe she’s here to  help.

“I’ve seen what they are doing”.But I was alone at that time so I kept quiet.”said Dini.

So she knew about this.I assumed that she have been investigating this matter for a long time.

“The Clan needs to be stopped.More students are disappearing each day.”she explained.Her calm looks now turned into anxiety.The details Harits been telling me is true.They kidnapped children.For what?Sacrifice?Trade?Or something more sinister?

Now we are working as trio.We saw Mr.Zack heading towards the workshop.The workshop is dark and gloomy at night.The trees that grew around it gave it a surreal look.Almost supernatural like.Now Mr.Zack went inside the workshop.

We followed him silently.Through the window,we see people dressed in white standing in a circle in dimly lit room.The incandescent bulb is the only thing that illuminates the space.Seems like Mr.Zack is the only one that is out of place with his black shirt and slacks.

Suddenly,he pushed the orb that was in the center of the circle.That seems to upset the people in white.Mr.Zack started to yell and wreak havoc in the room.He noticed us who were standing behind the window and knew we should not be noticed by the people in white.

“Zack!Are you out of your mind?”

“Yes Chad!,I’m out of my mind for trying to what’s right,!”shouted Mr.Zack.

All of the sudden three of the men in white pulled out guns.

“How’s your hand been doing Zack?”Chad said pointing to Mr.Zack’s dark and dry hand.

A men shot a bullet to the crate on the floor. him,meaning to intimidate him.The blow destroyed the crate but he is still satnding rock solid.Mr.Zack slid his hand to his back pocket pulling out his own gun.Now the all of the four men are at each other’s gunpoint.One shot and all of them could be dead.

Although we are bystanders,we could feel the tension of the scene.Sweat ran down our faces.Adrenaline was rushing through all of our veins.

Mr.Zack kicked Chad’s leg and Chad stumbled to the ground.His fist then landed on the three men’s face.A men tried to hit him but Mr.Zack’s kick broke his wrist.

Mr.Zack ducked down as a woman released deafening shot.It created a hole in the door.He wrestled the woman down and signaled us to leave.

We followed his orders and left the scene.Dini managed to capture a picture of the men in white and the orb.We are still in good condition because they have not `noticed us.As we were escaping the eery looking school premise,Harits tripped and fell.We help him to get up and continue running.The chance of being caught by ‘the whites’as I call them now could not be risk.

We all got home safe and sound.But we cannot help but think what were they doing?We know that Mr.Zack deliberately do that in order to save us.But what happens next?As I’m lying on my bed.I wonder,how I get myself into this mess and Mr.Zack is not all he turned out to be.He is on our side.The right side.And he saved our necks tonight.

The next day,I did not see Mr.Zack but something unexpected happens.I received a letter informing that I was transferred to MRSM Gerik.It is a big step up than the school I’m currently in but I cannot help but wonder does it have anything to do with last night’s event.Strangely enough,Harits was transferred to SERATAS while Dini was stationed to MRSM Kuala Kubu Baharu.I smell conspiracy.My parents handled the school exchange quickly and I was pulled out of the school before I had the chance to say goodbye to my friends.But I managed to meet up with Harits and Dini.We agrred on th same thing.Conspiracy.After that,I did not see them or the school for a long time.

But we promised to be back to solve the mystery.